Blogger recognition award

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I am amazed and delighted to have been nominated for a blogger recognition award.  How great is that?  I’ve been nominated by Laura Lowles at The Invisible Disability and Me.  THANK YOU, Laura.  Laura started her blog after being diagnosed with sudden hearing loss in her twenties.  Her blog posts cover a myriad of topics, including the fitting of her cochlear implant and experiences with it since.  There are also posters, links to useful organisations and much more besides.  You can find Laura’s blog here.

There are some rules for accepting the award, including saying something about why you started your blog and giving a tip or two to new bloggers.

I started More Than A Bit Deaf six months ago after about a year of indecision.  I have always loved to write and, since my hearing loss has worsened to really quite significant levels, I felt I had lots to say about different aspects of deafness.  A blog seemed like a good idea – in theory – but the idea of putting personal stuff on the internet was quite scary.  And could I cope with the technology?  People who know me know that I’m not the most computer literate person in the universe, but I got some books out of the library and had a go.

Actually there was more chance to it than the last paragraph suggests.  Do you ever make ridiculous pacts with yourself about whether you’ll do something?  One day in the “shall I, shan’t I” period I was driving home with the dog after our walk.  Turning into the High Street I said to myself “if there is a car parking space outside the library I’ll get the books on blogging” – and there was!  So now you know I am completely crazy and you’ll never read the blog again, but it’s true.

A huge thank you to the many people who have been so supportive of my efforts.  I’m very glad I plucked up the courage and wrote the first post.

Advice to new bloggers?  Don’t trust there being a parking space outside the library.  Seriously, I would say just do it.  What is there to lose?  In all likelihood you will make friends, find other fascinating blogs and really enjoy yourself.

You are also meant to nominate fifteen other blogs for the award.  I’ve failed dismally at this.  Before I started More Than A Bit Deaf I rarely read a blog and, although I’m rapidly finding other blogs I love and follow, fifteen is too much of a stretch.  So here is my list of blogs I’d like to nominate.

The Limping Chicken – the biggest deaf blog in the world, lays eggs every week day.

I’d never heard of Charlie Swinbourne’s blog, the Limping Chicken, until I started blogging myself.  I can’t be the only one, in fact I know I’m not the only one because my two closest hearing loss friends hadn’t heard of it either.  Charlie is a film-maker and journalist who describes the Chicken as a news and opinion website.  He is Deaf and grew up in a Deaf family.  Quite a lot of the content is about Deaf culture and that has been part of its appeal for me, because it is a world I know very little about.  But he also carries posts by adult-onset hearing loss people, like me, and indeed has included one of my own posts, for which many thanks Charlie.

If you want to know the news about the deaf world, and to be entertained and have your thoughts provoked – read the Limping Chicken.

Living With Hearing Loss

Shari Eberts is a US blogger who writes regularly about all aspects of living with adult onset hearing loss.  Living With Hearing Loss is less of a personal blog (although her own hearing loss story is firmly woven into it) than a series of very practical hints and tips on every situation you can think of.  Shari set up the blog as part of her ambition to act as an ambassador and campaigner about hearing loss.  She’s a role model for all of us.

Teresa Garratty’s posts on the Limping Chicken

So far as I can tell Teresa only posts on the Limping Chicken (??).  Her posts are often laugh-out-loud funny and specialise in a sort of cartoon format with lots of wacky illustrations.  Try “An article that’s not about the EU referendum thing – honest” or “The Ten Stages of Tinnitus” or…..any of them really.  Click here.

The Happiness Project

You either like self-improvement books or you loathe them.  I’m a sucker for some of them myself.  I avoid the ones that claim you can change your life completely in seven days but Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project isn’t like that – she focusses on things you can do over time to make yourself feel happier, more content, more fulfilled – however you want to describe it – including choosing and carrying through on challenging projects (like this blog was for me).  There is a blog (hence the nomination) but it is two of Gretchen’s books I particularly like (The Happiness Project and Happier At Home).  They aren’t written for people learning to live with hearing loss but I find that there’s a lot in them that is really helpful if you are.  We need positives to counteract the negatives more than most.

Lost in Lyon

Moving away from deafness now – I’m fascinated by the way that cultures so close to each other geographically and so similar in many ways can be so utterly different in other ways.  I find it a useful antidote to “we always do it this way” thinking.  Lost in Lyon is a blog exploring the myriad differences between a Brit mindset and a French mindset, seen through the eyes of Emily, a British woman who moved with her husband and family to a village near Lyon in December 2013.  It’s often funny, always interesting and very well written.  Find it here.

So thank you again, Invisible Disability, I’m pleased you liked More Than A Bit Deaf.

PS The rules are…..write a post…..acknowledge the blogger who nominated you…..give a brief story of how you started blogging…..give two pieces of advice to new bloggers…..nominated 15 deserving bloggers.  All done!

 

 

 

Pack your resilience

Just back from holiday.  You wouldn’t believe all the bits of kit I take with me for peace of mind, especially if I’m going abroad.

holiday hearing aid kit
holiday hearing aid kit

As well as the normal essentials – hearing aids, spare batteries – I take:

  1. Cleaning kit – for getting bits of wax out of ear moulds, and stuff like that.
  2. Puffer – for getting condensation out of the tubing.
  3. Spare tubing – in case it needs replacing for some reason.
  4. Spare hearing aids. THANK YOU NHS.  My local hospital now provides free spare pairs on holiday loan – how wonderful is that?
  5. Spare ear moulds. In case I lose the ear moulds?  Ridiculously unlikely but you never know, and whilst you could probably buy hearing aid tubing in many places abroad my ears are peculiar to me and the moulds irreplaceable.  They are old ones, and not a perfect fit, but they would do the job for a while.
  6. Drying tub and desiccator tablets – if going somewhere hot or if I might get sweaty (for example, if hiking). Drop your hearing aids in the tub overnight, with one of the tablets, and they are safely thoroughly dried.  Damp hearing aids don’t work and can be permanently damaged.
  7. Nowadays I also pack the Roger pen, the Roger pen receiver and the two sets of charging equipment they come with.

Continue reading

Sport and me (deaf woman at a yoga class)

Spending every afternoon and evening glued to the Olympics had me pondering about sport.

I was a child in an era when school sport meant team sports (netball in the summer and hockey in the winter) or gymnastics.  I was no good at any of them.  On the hockey pitch on damp, cold, Co Durham afternoons I first learnt that I am completely incapable of anything that involves hitting a ball with a piece of wood.  I just can’t do it.  I’m equally bad at tennis, badminton, rounders, crazy golf…..you name it. Continue reading

Very strange music

Music has largely gone for me now.  It has morphed into a series of very strange sounds.  But that doesn’t bother me as much as it would bother some other people, because music was never a big part of my life.  I don’t really miss it – I’m just intrigued at what has happened.

Slade's Noddy Holder - I was never a fan really
Slade’s Noddy Holder – I was never a fan really

Just to establish my credentials I could tell you that I did once go to see bands.  I confess I was more of a folk club person at university but for a while I went out with the Chairman of the Students Union and he got free tickets to events.  So I’ve seen Slade – oh yes.  In fact, I’ve seen Yes (actually that was at Leicester’s De Montfort Hall in 1973).  I don’t remember any others.  It’s not very impressive is it?

Continue reading

Please don’t gesture at me

Copyright: leolintang / 123RF Stock Photo
Copyright: leolintang / 123RF Stock Photo

I’m steeling myself for an outbreak of inappropriate hand gestures and speaking very s-l-o-w-l-y in the NHS.  I wrote in another post about how the staff at my local hospital some years ago all seemed to have been sent on a very bad deaf awareness course, resulting in them accompanying their speech with (for me) quite superfluous “thumbs up” signals, pointing and grinning.  Thankfully, it died out (or the staff had better training).  But I quaked as I read this week about very laudable new legislation, about which more in a minute, because there it was again.  “Use gestures and facial expressions to support what you are saying.”  “Speak a little slower than you would do usually.”  Aagh………. Continue reading

Deciphering, not hearing

Copyright: stuartphoto / 123RF Stock Photo
Copyright: stuartphoto / 123RF Stock Photo

It is hard to explain to someone with good hearing what “hearing” can be like for someone with hearing loss.  Back when my hearing was better than it is now I could just hear – without thinking about it.  Sound waves reached the ear, did whatever it is they do in there, got to the brain and, hey presto, I heard.

Sometimes I can still hear like that.  If I’m sitting in a quiet place, talking with one other person who is facing me, I’m not aware of trying to hear – I can just do it.  At other times I really have to concentrate.  Keep on Reading!

Excellent TV programme

A quick extra post to tell you about an excellent television programme, screened recently by the BBC.  Life and Deaf follows some of the members of St John’s Deaf Club in North London as they live their lives – playing football, having a baby……

The film is in British Sign Language, with subtitles.  There is no score and no commentary, so it’s interestingly quiet.  There are some very funny moments.  My favourite?  Abigail is 30 and comes from a big Deaf family.  The film follows her deciding to have a cochlear implant – a controversial decision for her mother, who is worried that her daughter will drift away from the Deaf community.  When the implant is fitted Abigail is filmed talking to a friend about it.  “Can you hear birds?” says the friend.  “Not yet” replied Abigail “but I could hear the clock ticking in my aunt’s kitchen…..after five minutes it was really f***ing annoying….”

You can find Life and Deaf on BBC iPlayer but you’ll need to be very quick.  It is only available until 20 July.

Easier to talk than to listen

I love David Hockney’s art – the vibrancy of it, the colour, the lifelong experimentation with new ways of looking at things.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I also feel attracted to it because I know Hockney has severe hearing loss, as indeed had his father.

Do you know his painting “My Parents”?  We have a poster of it at home.

My Parents 1977 David Hockney  http://www.tate.org.uk/art/work/T03255
My Parents 1977 David Hockney http://www.tate.org.uk

It shows Hockney’s mother – sitting looking straight at you, engaged and involved with the painter (you imagine).  She also looks incredibly like my late Auntie Madge, but maybe that would be true of a lot of women of her generation.  Next to her sits Hockney’s father – turned to the side, not looking at you, reading a book….attention elsewhere.  It shouts deafness to me.  When you are deaf it is so much easier to lose yourself in your own world than to communicate (which is why, to me, it’s so important to not give up and to keep on trying).

Hockney, as you would expect from a very blunt man, is very blunt about his own coping strategies.  Interviewed recently he said “one way of getting round being deaf is to do all the talking, because if you’re talking you don’t have to listen”.  I’m embarrassed to admit that I think he has a point.  Sometimes, say in a group of chattering people, I’m aware that the only bit of the chattering I fully understand is the bit I’m doing.   It’s a lot easier to talk than to listen.  I try not to just keep on talking, but if you find me doing that give me a kick…….

Six good things about my hearing loss

Not everyone’s experience, but true for me.

SLEEP

I sleep for England.  When my hearing aids come out that’s it.  Bang, I’m asleep – and nothing wakes me.  I love my sleep.  Indeed I find getting up difficult – leaving that lovely cosy cocoon.  I try to understand what it must be like to be a light sleeper, woken by any slight noise, but I can’t really imagine it.  People tell me how lucky I am and they are right.

IMMUNITY TO NOCTURNAL EMERGENCIES

A subset of the above.  Being such a sound sleeper means I miss out on our domestic nocturnal emergencies.  The cat meowing to be out at dawn.  Our dog, a Labrador with the normal Labrador tendencies to eat all manner of stomach-churning rubbish, feeling decidedly unwell and desperate to be out at 2am.  I miss it all.  I get up as normal, wonder why Nigel is yawning, ask if he’s had a good night and am astonished to be told that fevered barking led to him being out in the middle of the night in pyjamas and wellies clearing up canine diarrhoea.

SAM_1421
Our cat Thomas

Of course, I attempt to insist that next time he wakes me up and I’ll deal with it.  But it doesn’t happen.  I seem to have acquired have a sort of deaf person’s opt out clause and it’s worth quite a lot.

MUZAK IN SHOPS

I read the other day that Marks and Spencer have decided to stop playing piped music in their stores in another doomed attempt to boost their fashion sales.  (It won’t work – it’s the clothes that are the problem).  I am oblivious to this sort of thing – unless it’s really very loud I just don’t hear it.  So at Christmas in the supermarket Slade can be Merry Christmas Everybody-ing, Mud can be Lonely at Christmas and Wham! can be giving their heart to someone special and it all (thankfully) passes me by.  (Actually, I only know about some of these songs because Nigel and I have in the past sat through entire editions of Top of the Pops at Christmas just to catch a glimpse of The Pogues belting out their wonderful Fairytale of New York.  But that’s another story).

COLD CALLERS

Nigel is driven mad by cold callers, because he takes all the phone calls if he’s in the house.  I escape the problem almost completely.  Result.

MR AND MRS ANNOYING

That irritating family at the table next to you at the café/pub/restaurant who talk loudly and incessantly about (insert topic that would drive you mad)……I don’t hear them.  (I have trouble enough hearing the people I’m with).  Or discovering there has been a baby crying incessantly on the plane.  Really?  I didn’t hear anything.

I CAN SWITCH MY HEARING AIDS OFF

I hardly ever switch my hearing aids off or take them out, I rely on them too much for that.  But I CAN switch them off if I need to.  So…..grinding something noisy in the food processor……switch ‘em off.  Soundtrack unbearably loud at the cinema ……ditto (just stick to the subtitles).  It’s really very handy.

DISCLAIMER

I did say it was a personal list.  What’s your experience?

 

 

 

Just casual chat

7778302_sThe other week my car needed to be serviced and I had booked an appointment at the local garage.  The young man at the service desk was taking the details.  Trying not to miss something important I stopped him at one point and said “sorry, I missed that – I’m deaf and I lip read – could you say it again?”  “Gosh” he said “lip reading……is that difficult?”  Yes it is, I replied.  “Why did you learn?” he asks.  Well, because my hearing is really very poor these days, I explain, so lip reading is the only way I can make sense of speech.  “When did you lose your hearing?” he asks.  I explain (long slow process over 40 years).

Anyway, I go on, what did you say?  “Oh”, he said, “I just asked if you were doing anything special at the weekend.”

All that fuss…..

Sometimes I envy hearing people their ability to zone out non-essential chit chat secure in the knowledge that that’s what it is.  A quick “no, nothing special…..how about you?” would have taken infinitesimally less effort.  (On the other hand, it was lovely that he was interested in lip reading).

Something else I envy about hearing people is their ability to hear when someone isn’t looking at them.  How do they do that??  I can’t even imagine any more what it would be like.

So for example my husband, Nigel, and I might be chatting in the kitchen whilst doing our respective chores.  It sounds a simple enough thing, but it’s challenging.  If Nigel is doing the washing up (at the sink, with his back to me) he will be twisting his head so I can see his face.  I might be dancing around to put myself in the best position for lip reading.  I suppose we could wait until we are facing each other but that’s not always possible if you are just flipping a few comments back and forth whilst doing the dishes.  Anyway – I am loathe to give up spontaneity completely.  Marriage is about the casual chat as well as the deeper stuff.

But here’s the point.  If I’m speaking (say telling him something that happened to me earlier in the day) and he heads off into the back kitchen to put the washing in the drier……I can’t carry on talking.  How weird is that?  I just peter out.  Rationally I know that he can hear me perfectly well, and will come back in the room when he needs to say something.  But, because I can’t hear people without seeing their face something very deep in my psyche seems to have stopped me believing that HE can.  It’s very strange.

“Go on”, he says “I can still hear you”.  But I just can’t do it.

Mind you, sometimes in the past he has reappeared saying “sorry, I missed that, the spin cycle started”.

Image Copyright: goodshotalan / 123RF Stock Photo